Very Random Moments With The Cullens and the Pack
by CrankyFrenchLady88
Summary: Completely random moments with the Cullen family and the werewolves. After Breaking Dawn.
1. The Spanish Obama Song

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Obama song from You tube or you tube itself.

"Como se dice, como te llama Obama, Obama!" sang Emmett while watching the Spanish Obama song on You tube.

"Emmett, what the heck are you doing?" asked Bella.

"Obama rocks!" yelled Emmett.

Bella listened to the song for a moment.

"Hey, that's pretty catchy! Go Obama!" cried Bella.

"Ugh, not you too, Bella." moaned Jasper, "I like McCain and your Obamaness is driving me insane!"

"Then lets sing a different song." said Emmett.

"Alright: Viva Obama!" sang Bella.

"I'm just gonna leave now." said Jasper walking out of the room.

"OBAMA YEAH!!" cried Bella and Emmett and they continued to dance.

**How did you like chapter 1? This is my new story and I would love some ideas!**

**Love,**

**CrankyFrenchLady88**


	2. Edward's Piano Concert

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Fur real friends, Wall-Mart, Volvo, or You Tube.**_

"Hey Bella, guess what!" exclaimed Alice running into the living room.

"What?" asked Bella.

"I just found these awesome new things called Fur Real Friends!" cried Alice.

"That's nice Alice." said Bella completely ignoring her.

"I got a chicken one, let's turn it on!" Alice squealed.

Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!

"Alice! Make that thing shut up!" yelled Bella.

Smash! Bang! Crash!

"It's off." said Alice holding the pile of smashed robot chicken parts.

"Great, now go away. I want to watch television." said Bella.

"But I wanted to prank Edward!" whined Alice.

"Did you say you wanted to prank _Edward_!?" asked Bella not interested in TV anymore.

"Yes." said Alice.

"I'm listening." said Bella smiling evilly.

"Well, that squawking chicken gave me an idea. Edward is playing in a piano concert tonight, and we could totally mess with him by putting one of those chickens in his piano!" exclaimed Alice.

"Alice, you are a genius! Now, how about you get the chicken and meet me at the concert hall in thirty minutes." said Bella.

"Alright!" said Alice and she hopped in her Porsche and headed to Wall-Mart.

"Now I can watch my show." said Bella happily as she sat back down on the leather sofa.

Thirty minutes later, Alice and Bella met up at the concert hall.

"Do you have the chicken?" asked Bella.

"Yep." replied Alice.

"They turned it on and put it inside the piano. It was placed precisely on top of the strings, and right below the hammers.

"Muahahahaha!" laughed Bella and Alice evilly.

They took their seats when it was time for the concert to start.

Edward came out onto the stage, bowed once, and took his seat at the piano.

He began to play.

squawk! squawk! squawk! squawk! went the chicken.

"Gah!" cried Edward.

He opened it up only to find the chicken.

He closed the top of the piano, and stormed off stage.

"ALICE, BELLA!" he yelled.

"Nice show Edward!" laughed Bella.

"Who put the chicken in my piano?" asked Edward.

"It was Alice's idea." accused Bella.

"Alice, I will not get angry, but will let this go." said Edward calmly.

"What's that in your pocket?" asked Bella as she took out a little white book.

"How to find you inner Zen." read Alice.

"Did Esme give you this?" asked Bella.

"Maybe…" said Edward and then he quickly ran out side, jumped in his Volvo, and drove away.

"Hah! Priceless!" cried Bella.

"Did you get it all on tape?" asked Alice.

"Every second of it." said Bella.

Then they headed home so that they could post the movie on You Tube.


	3. Emmett Vs Canada with bacon on the side

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or Canada (that would be so cool if I did! Because then all of the Canadian bacon would be mine! Muahahahaha!)**

"Hey Bella! Guess what!" cried Emmett.

"What?" asked Bella.

"I'm starting a war on Canada!" he exclaimed.

"What!? Canada, NO! Where do you think I get my special Canadian bacon?" exclaimed Bella.

"Um… the grocery store?" asked Emmett.

"Ugh! You really are an idiot! Where does the grocery store get it's bacon?" asked Bella.

"Ooh! I know! Little piggies!" cried Emmett.

"You stupid little son of a… woo, hah, calm Bella, okay. Where does the grocery store get the little piggies?" asked Bella trying not to attack Emmett so as not to injure herself.

"I know. Farms." answered Emmett.

"NO! YOU GET THE FREAKIN' BACON FROM FREAKIN' CANADA!" yelled Bella, "THAT"S WHY IT"S CALLED FREAKIN' CANADIAN BACON, YOU MORON!"

"Is someone PMSing?" asked Emmett.

"EDWARD! I NEED SOME HELP WITH EMMETT!" yelled Bella.

"What is it love?" asked Edward as he entered the living room.

"Just knock some sense into him." answered Bella.

"I don't think that's possible." said Edward.

"Damn! Well, can you at least torture him anyway?" asked Bella.

"Sure thing love. Emmett! I have a surprise for you!" called Edward.

"Yay!" cried Emmett as Edward guided him outside.

BANG _CRASH __**KABOOM! OW! Ahhhhhhhh! **_

"Thank you Edward!" called Bella from the living room.

"Anytime." he answered walking through the front door.

"Ahem, Edward. I do believe you are forgetting something." said Bella.

"Oh, right. ESME! CLEAN UP ON ISLE FOUR!" called Edward.

"Oh no, not again. I'll get the mop." sighed Esme as she headed outside to survey the damage.

**How did you like that? Big thanks to Mc Foofoo for her help on all of my stories. I don't know what I would do without her. (This message is for MC Foofoo only, so just ignore it: I know I didn't get your edited draft of my story back. I guess that means you liked it right? Or did you not get it yet? Oh well.)**


	4. AN

_**Author's Note: Hey! The results for the poll question "What should I write about next in my story?" are in! They were supposed to be announced Nov. 13, but I was grounded. So, sorry!**_

_**1**__**st**__** place: with 8 votes - Edward's diary**_

_**2**__**nd**__** place: with 6 votes - Emmett's diary**_

_**3**__**rd**__** place: with 4 votes each - Candy Mountain, Jasper's diary, and Bella's diary**_

_**4**__**th**__** place: with 3 votes each - Viva Piñata, Carlisle's diary, and Alice's diary**_

_**5**__**th**__** place: with 2 votes each - Esme's diary and Sam's diary**_

_**6**__**th**__** place with 1 vote each - Rosalie's diary, Quil's diary, and Seth's diary**_

_**Last place: with 0 votes: Embry's diary**_

_**So my next chapter will be about Edward's diary! Yay! Thank you all for voting!**_

_**Love,**_

_**CrankyFrenchLady88**_


	5. Edward's Diary

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, _A Tale of Two Cities_, Pixie Stix, or Victoria's Secret.

11/28/08

Dear Journal (not diary! NEVER diary! Diaries are for girls. Journals are more manly),

Well, today was an interesting day. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Oh, sorry! I am reading _A Tale of Two Cities _By: Charles Dickens. Anyways let me

Continue. Where to begin… First, Bella discovered these wretched things called Pixie Stix. They are PURE flavored

SUGAR! AHHHHHHH! She was so sugar high that she actually went shopping with Alice,

WILLINGLY! Then, she came back with a whole bag of sugar, and ate it all! This is what everybody is thinking right now:

Bella- "SUGAR! YUM! SUGARRRRRRRRRR! WHEEEEEEE!"

Me-"HELP ME!"

Alice- "Oh my GAWD! There is a sale on lingerie at Victoria's Secret! I have to go!"

Jasper- "AHHHHH! Bella PLEASE stop being so hyper! You're driving me crazy!"

Rosalie- "I am so pretty. I am perfect. Me, me, me, mine, me, mine, me!

Emmett- "Cheese! Pie! 3.141592675859...uh, um… whatever!"

Esme- "My garden looks so pretty. I love everything!"

Carlisle- "I officially diagnose Bella with Sugarhighitis."

Well, I have to go hunt now. Since Bella doesn't know I keep a Journal, and will never read this: I am going hunting to escape her Sugarhighitis.

Sincerely,

Edward


	6. Makeover Time!

**Disclaimer: I, CrankyFrenchLady88 Do not, I repeat, do not own Twilight or You Tube (yet, Muahahahaha!!!!) **

**Bella POV**

"Hey Bella!" chirped Alice skipping gracefully towards me.

"Hello Alice." I replied.

"I have another way to prank Edward." she said smiling wickedly.

"Oh, do continue." I said.

"Well, first I need to call Jacob." she said picking up the phone and dialing.

"Jacob?" I questioned.

"You'll see why." she explained.

"Hey, Jacob. I need some help with a prank." she said

"_Who are you pranking?" _he asked.

"Edward." she replied.

"_What do you need me to do?" _He asked enthusiastically.

"I need you to call him and say that you are keeping Bella hostage, and that if he wants her back, he has to meet you in a cave near the mountains, I don't care which one of the caves it is."

"_Alright, I choose the one I normally go to. The one near the La Push beach. I'll talk to Sam about letting you past the boundary line. He'll like it that you're pranking Edward." _Jacob said.

"Alright, I'll meet you there at ten o' clock. We're going to take him by surprise and dress him up as Dracula" Alice said smiling, and she hung up the phone.

"What are we doing?" I asked, quite confused.

"_We_**, **are going to be the dress up squad. We'll glue his costume to him so it won't come off for a very long time." explained Alice.

"Hahahahaha! I am SO bringing the video camera for this one, it is going straight on You Tube!" I cried.

We grabbed everything we needed, and headed out to La Push.

**At La Push….**

"Jacob, this cave is perfect! We'll get him for sure!" Alice exclaimed.

We quickly set up and then Jacob made the call.

"Edward, this is Jacob. I have Bella. If you ever want to see her again, you must come to the cave near the La Push beach."

"_WHAT!!!! YOU GIVE BELLA BACK NOW, OR I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF, MUTT!!!!" _Edward threatened.

"Come get her, I'll be waiting." said Jacob.

"_I will come, and I'll kill you!" _he hissed.

Then Edward hung up.

"Hahahaha!!! Priceless! Thanks Jake!" I said laughing.

"Anytime Bells." He said grinning at me.

"Bella, you have to be screaming for him when he gets here, okay?" asked Alice.

"Alright." I agreed.

Then there was a loud crash as Edward came racing in.

"Edward, help me!" I yelled.

"MUTT! YOU GIVE HER BACK NOW!!!" he bellowed.

"Now!" cried Alice.

Then Alice, Jake, and I all tackled him.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he exclaimed.

We quickly went to work, super gluing all the pieces to the wouldn't come off.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" Edward exclaimed, his words muffled a bit by the plastic vampire teeth glued to his real ones.

"We were just having fun." I said giving him by best "puppy dog face".

"ALICE,JACOB, BELLA!!!!!" He yelled.

"Oops, look at the time. We must get going." Alice said, and we quickly left the cave.

"I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS, MARK MY WORDS!!!!" He exclaimed.

"Are you really going to put that on You Tube?" Alice asked pointing to the video camera.

"Hell yes!" I exclaimed.

"Nice!" she exclaimed.

"Well Jake, we'd better get going." I said, turning to face him.

"Have fun in bloodsucker land." He said smiling.

"Have fun in furry bi-polar land." I said smiling right back at him.

Then Alice and I went back to her house, we had a video to put on You Tube.

**Hey Guys, Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I have been working on another story. Hope you liked this one! **

**Love,**

**CrankyFrenchLady88**


	7. Animal Control

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Animal Control.**

_I've got it!!! It's the perfect plan to get revenge on Jacob!!! But, first I'll need to get him in his wolf form. I need to make a few calls…_

_Ring, Ring_

"Hello?"

"Hi Jacob."

"Edward??"

"Yeah, I thought of a way to settle who our differences."

"How?"

"A fight."

"Oh, you're on!"

"Alright, meet me in the woods just south of the boundary line."

"I'll be there."

**In the woods…**

"I see you came in wolf form." I said.

_Yes. _Jacob thought.

"Are you ready??"

_I'm always ready for a good fight leech._

"Alright, let me just call a few friends to come and watch the fight."

I quickly dialed the number for the Washington Animal Control.

"Hello, Animal Control? I am calling to report a vicious stray dog. It looks like it is going to attack me! Come quickly!!" I whispered so Jacob couldn't hear.

_Are they coming??_

"Yes, they'll be there shortly. Until then why don't you practice growling to make it more dramatic."

_Dramatic, eh? Sure GRRRR! GRRRRRRRR! GRRRRRRRRRR!_

"There it is! The vicious man-eating dog! Get it!!" yelled an animal control officer.

_WHAT!!! YOU SET ME UP BLOODSUCKER!!_

"Sure did. Take 'im away officer."

"Can do."

They grabbed Jacob and shoved him into a puppy carrier. Life is good!

I called Sam.

"Sam? It's Edward. Jacob got himself into a sticky situation with Animal Control. You'd better go help him out."

I headed back home smiling and whistling Claire De Lune. Revenge is sweet!

**Hope you liked this one. This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend **_ktisuberawesome. _**please read and review.**

**-CFL88**


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